Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
