I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
