I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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