It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
