threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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