Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
