just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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