Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
