I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I will be naked everywhere
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
