apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
