Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My vagina is officially offended.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
