In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
