ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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