You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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