I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
