I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
