scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
