What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
It's just like the Real World with babies
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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