Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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