Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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