My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Randomize
