I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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