the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
