Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
