So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
