just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Let's paint friendship bongs
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
