yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
