i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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