Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
