He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
