Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
When are your genitals available?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
