i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
