I accidentally had phone sex last night
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
