Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
