Where is the hickey?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize