I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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