I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
