Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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