I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm like, not good at living.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
