I am in a vortex of obligation.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
