is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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