i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
ok first of all what the fuck
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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