think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
