Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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