ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
