I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
