All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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