It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
