we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
