Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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