OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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