I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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